Parents' message is powerful: 'Donate Life'
By Sharon Rice
The Friday Flyer Assistant Editor

January 16 marks the two-year anniversary of the day injuries sustained in a car accident claimed the life of Peter and Jayne Stanyon’s youngest daughter, Hollie Stanyon Fouts, at the age of 20. Eighteen months prior to that, on June 8, 2003, they lost their older daughter, Kirsty, in a car accident at the age of 22.

The enormity of Peter and Jayne’s loss was not lost on Canyon Lakers then, and it isn’t now. But Jayne, who spoke at this week’s Chamber of Commerce luncheon, wants the focus of her story to move toward triumph rather than tragedy. She doesn’t want pity – she wants action.

Because of the outpouring of support she and Peter received after Hollie’s death, they decided to start the Heart-to-Heart Foundation in honor of their daughters’ memories.

After learning about how many people Hollie’s organs and tissues helped, Jayne was inspired to sign up as an ambassador with OneLegacy, a transplant donor network based in Southern California.

As she explained in her talk Wednesday, she wants her friends and neighbors in Canyon Lake to seriously consider the subject of organ donation so that if they are faced with their own or a loved one’s demise, there is no question about what the next step should be. Jayne has come to understand how fearful many people are about donating organs, and how few actually do so.

With that in mind, the following information from OneLegacy.org is provided to help readers make an educated decision on this subject.

The need is critical

An organ donor can save the lives of up to eight people facing dire illness, while a tissue donor may save or enhance the lives of as many as 50 people. Californians can register their wishes with the state-authorized Donate Life California Registry at www.donatelifecalifornia.org.

Because transplantation is still a relatively new and evolving science, it is understandable that people create and spread rumors about donation. Here are 10 of the most common misconceptions and the reality behind them.

Common misconceptions

1. If I am in an accident and the hospital knows that I want to be a donor, they won’t try as hard to save me. Reality: The medical team treating the patient is completely separate from the transplant team. The transplant team is not contacted until the patient has died and the family has consented to donation.

2. They’ll take out my organs before I’m dead. Reality: Brain death – that is, when the brain dies due to lack of blood and oxygen – is a medically, legally and morally accepted determination of death. In California, two licensed physicians must independently make the diagnosis of brain death before the potential donor’s family is presented with the opportunity to donate.

3. My body or my loved one’s body will be mutilated. Reality: The body of the donor is treated with great respect throughout the process. Donated organs and tissue are removed surgically in a routine operation similar to abdominal surgery. Donation does not preclude an open-casket funeral.

4. Only famous and wealthy people get organ transplants. Reality: The United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS) and the nation’s transplant centers manage the waiting list, which includes each potential recipient’s weight, height and blood group. Priority depends on many factors, including urgency of need, length of time on waiting list, blood type and size compatibility. Race, gender, age, income or celebrity status are never considered when organs are allocated.

5. My religion does not support donation. Reality: All organized religions support donation, typically considering it as a gift from the heart and a matter of individual choice.

6. My family will need to pay for the procedure. Reality: A donor’s family is not charged for any procedure, test or medical supplies associated with the donation process. From the time of consent, all costs are paid by OneLegacy.

7. I am too old to be a donor. Reality: Donors can range in age from several weeks to 75 or older. Also, senior citizens may inspire others in their family to consider donation.

8. My health problems would prevent me from being a donor. Reality: Many of today’s donors have pre-existing medical conditions. The patient or specific organs or tissue may be ruled out based on a detailed medical evaluation.

9. The recipient will know who I am. Reality: Information about the donor is released to the recipient only if the family of the donor requests it. Otherwise, the strictest confidence of patient privacy is maintained.

10. If I donate, my funeral will be delayed. Reality: The only delay would be if the Coroner wishes to examine the body, in which case, he might delay the mortuary proceedings.

Register to be a donor

According to a recent news article, nearly 95,000 people in the United States are waiting for a new organ and about 20 percent of them live in California. Anyone can choose to request that his or her organs and tissues be donated at the time of death and the Department of Motor Vehicles is making it even easier.

Since July, Californians have been able to automatically join the Donate Life California registry by checking a box when they renewed or applied for a driver’s license. Don’t want to wait until then? You can sign up by going to donatelifeCalifornia.org. A participant’s decision to join cannot be overruled by surviving family members.

OneLegacy doesn’t limit its life-saving message to adults. Ambassadors like Jayne understand that young people can have strong opinions about helping other people. Hollie did. With that in mind, she is currently undergoing training to take OneLegacy’s message to high school students in a program called “Bridging Lives.”

Birthday celebration yields smiles and tears

This week, Peter and Jayne Stanyon have been celebrating their daughters’ birthdays. Kirsty would have turned 26 today, March 9, and Hollie would have turned 23 on March 7. Most Friday Flyer readers know the Stanyons lost their daughters in separate car accidents in 2003 and 2005, but kept their memory alive by forming the Heart to Heart Foundation. Those who know them wonder how Peter and Jayne are able to maintain such a positive attitude in the light of such devastating tragedy, so Jayne has taken the time to answer that question and more in this message to the community.

By Jayne Stanyon
Special to The Friday Flyer

Each day I wake up, I say “good morning” to Kirsty and Hollie and thank God for the many blessings in my life. I know many of you are thinking “how does she do it, having lost both her daughters?”

Twenty-six years ago, I can remember sitting in a rocking chair in Kirsty’s bedroom. It was about 2 a.m. and most of the world was sleeping. It was cold and raining outside but my heart was filled with love for my precious daughter as I held her in my arms – I can remember feeling the warmth from her tiny body, it’s something I will never forget. We did not physically speak, but our souls connected.

Those are the same feelings and emotions I feel every day. I take the time to be still and connect with Kirsty and Hollie and feel their love.

I encourage each of you to take the time and get in touch with your feelings – to remember a moment of sheer bliss and think about that moment every morning when you awake. Then you will know how it feels to be me. I will always be “mum” and have that connection with my daughters. It’s an amazing feeling and it’s the way I choose to live my life.

In honor of Kirsty and Hollie’s birthdays each year in March, the Heart to Heart Scholarship Fund gives to those in need. During the past year I have had the privilege of working with OneLegacy’s Ambassadors, Michele Huddleston, Monica Collins and Daniel Ronco. Each of them is a kidney transplant recipient. They have shared with me their struggles due to organ failure. But the overwhelming feeling I receive from them is gratitude for receiving their transplant.

I wanted to learn more about the people on dialysis, so I contacted Maryanne Bienkowski at the Murrieta Dialysis Center. It was an eye opening experience for me. Seeing their faces made me realize they are more than just a statistic – they are real people with families that love them, that would do anything they could to help them survive.

The truth is many of them are in desperate need of a kidney or multiple organ transplants. The nurses and staff do everything they can for their patients; they are so giving and caring and do such a wonderful job. I asked one of the patients how she felt about the center and the people and she said, “They are my family, they keep me alive.” There are 70 people receiving treatment at the Murrieta Dialysis Center, each one of them is living with pain and suffering.

On many different levels, a needle comes from their arm taking toxins in their blood to the dialysis machine, which cleanses and returns the blood back to their body. It takes about four hours, three days a week, and for now it’s their lifeline. On average, each person is on dialysis seven years.

I can only imagine how it must feel being on the organ transplant list, waiting everyday for the phone call that will save your life. My heart goes out to each of them so I wanted to help these people in some small way.

Heart to Heart scholarships

I asked Maryanne and the nursing staff if there was one family in particular that really needed some help. Maryanne asked a committee to vote – it was very difficult to choose as there are so many worthy recipients, but a woman named Antonia stood out the most. As a result of what we learned about Antonia’s struggles, this year’s Heart to Heart Scholarship of $1,000 went to ease her burdens.

Antonia, we learned, has End Stage Renal Disease (ESRD), caused primarily by diabetes and hypertension. She is 57 and has received dialysis three times a week since July 2005. Her 38-year-old daughter died in January after being on dialysis over 10 years due to kidney failure. She was unable to obtain a kidney transplant because her health insurance would not cover the cost of the surgery and medications she would need to take for life after the surgery. She left an 18-year-old son, a 13-year-old son and an 11-year-old daughter to be cared for by Antonia, her spouse and their other children.

When I handed Antonia the check for $1,000 she shed tears of gratitude, noting she hadn’t even had enough money to bury her daughter.

In addition, $300 was a gift to the center to be used for medical needs and each of the 70 patients were given a $10 gift card. It seemed such a small amount, but I know every dollar helps. As one lady said, “It’s a gift from heaven.”

There are over 90,000 people on the organ transplant list. One out of three men, women and children will die due to lack of life saving donors! They are not just numbers, they are real people. But each of us can make a difference. It only takes a few minutes to sign up to be a donor. Simply go online at www.donatelifecalifornia.org. Your personal information will be kept secure and confidential.

Hollie saved the lives of six people through her gifts of organ donation, and improved the lives of 50 more through tissue donation.

Adding your name to the Donate Life California Registry makes your wish to save lives official. It’s your way of making the “pink donor dot” really stick. It’s your decision to save a life. After you sign up, please share your decision with your family and friends – every one of us can make a difference.

We are grateful to all those who have and continue to support Peter and myself and the Heart to Heart Foundation. We count our blessings everyday; we are thankful for good health, friends and family. Peter has been by my side for 30 years, he is my soul mate – it’s a special love we share.

If you have any questions, please contact Jayne or Peter Stanyon at 909-633-7242, or Nicole McCoy (our fundraising coordinator) at 640-7395; or e-mail heart-heart@ca.rr.com. Our address is 31562 Railroad Canyon Rd. Canyon Lake, CA 92587.

Crowd moved to tears, gaiety and generosity

The event that took place Friday night, September 29, at the Lodge was aptly titled "A Taste of Paradise" for more than the selection of food provided by local eateries – it was a taste of all that is good about the community of Canyon Lake: the people who live here, the causes they embrace, the willingness they have to support one another in time of need.

Coordinated to raise money for the Heart to Heart Foundation, begun by Canyon Lake residents and business owners Peter and Jayne Stanyon in memory of their daughters, Hollie and Kirsty Stanyon, the sold-out event raised more than $54,000 to promote organ and tissue donor awareness.

Kreg McCoy was the presenting sponsor, and his wife Nicole coordinated the event with the help of a large committee of volunteers. Local individuals, merchants and organizations donated over 90 gift baskets and items for the silent and live auction.

Speakers included Kathy Mossa, a pastor’s wife from Wildomar, who received Hollie’s heart after she died in a car accident in January 2005; Jake Heraty, a 10-year-old boy from Menifee who received a liver as a baby; and Canyon Lake resident Jeff Hedrick, who is alive today because of a liver he received in August 2004. Several others also shared their stories.

Nothing better explains the essence of this event better than the words of Kathy Mossa, presented here and edited for space.

Hollie's heart

"I have been thinking about what I really want you to know about organ donation. First and foremost, I want you to know about the wonderful, selfless family that literally demonstrated the greatest example of God’s love in this world – a family in the most tragic circumstance, making the hardest decision to allow something wonderful to come of it.

"Knowing their daughter Hollie believed in organ donation, they found the strength to donate her heart to me – and several other organs to help others as well. I can think of no other way a person can show the love of God pouring out of them in such an overwhelming way.

"I thank God for Jayne and Peter Stanyon and for Hollie’s husband, Chris Fouts, and their commitment to honor Hollie’s wishes. When we met with Jayne and Peter a few months after my transplant, I could not believe they were so excited to move forward, carrying out Hollie’s desires by getting involved with the organ donor program. I remember telling everyone you could surely see the love of God working in them . . .

"As for me, I have been given the greatest gift one person can receive from another. I now have a new life, which I treasure each day and will for the rest of my life. This is something I think of and am thankful for every moment of every day. I definitely would not be here today without my new heart.

"Only God knows the mysteries of why one life is spared and another he chooses to take to be with him. So I leave that to Him. But for me, I am so blessed to have the years ahead of me with my wonderful loving family, who have taken such care of me through my whole ordeal.

"I never would have dreamed in a million years that I would be the recipient of a new heart. In my case, I went from an extreme emergency situation to an extreme miracle in just four short days . . . I must add that until it happened to me, I never gave much thought to organ donation. Obviously, my thinking is now forever changed.

Saturday, October 7th was a day of tire burning action at Adams Kart Track in Riverside. A Go-Kart Race of 100 laps took place with 11 teams of drivers for an amazing day of racing. But the racing wasn’t just for the love of fun, it was the Donate Life Grand Prix promoting organ donation awareness for OneLegacy, Southern California’s organ and tissue donation network.

Racing in this awesome event for Team Heart to Heart were Kreg McCoy, Chuck Whitehead, Rick Kordick, Chris Fouts, Sean Vuoso and Chad Duncan. It was a great day, full of surprises as Team Heart to Heart, which was coined the “quiet storm” took 2nd place in the 100 lap endurance race- with Chad Duncan winning fastest lap time of the day.

Organ and tissue recipients and donor’s families came out for the day as well as many others who have been touched by this cause. The event also had a computer available there to sign up registrants for the DMV’s official collection site to make their requests official. Remember, the pink sticker on your license is not enough! Visit http://www.donateLIFEcalifornia.org to sign up today!